I have started a blog somewhere else in this world but I can't remember the name of it so this is my new beginning. I probably should have titled my blog SuzanneUNORGANIZEDANDSTRESSED because that is about the perfect description of me and my life in a nutshell. I also could add TIRED to the end of my title as well. Story of my life...but perhaps I wouldn't be so tired if I took off about 25 pounds and did anything close to exercising. I have always had the idea that I will definitely be that person someday, the one who exercises regularly, eats right, and has plenty of energy to do anything. Somehow the years keep going by and that just doesn't happen. Well I resolve to get up tomorrow and jog, oops that won't work - I have no idea where my running shoes are and God only knows where, in my huge pile of laundry that needs to be sorted and put away, the proper clothing is to get out and do it with.
Once in my life I used to go out with my father three or four times a week at 5:30 AM and walk around the neighborhood block a couple times. It was wonderful, the sky was dark, the stars were out, there were no cars going through (we walked in the middle of the street) and we each brought with us a huge thermos of coffee to drink from. This was so good for me, I was in my early twenties and half of the time I was probably green from being hungover, or exhausted from staying out late but I did it and can only look back on it with fond memories. We barely talked about anything - it was just mostly quite. The last day we did it was the day I got married and that was probably that last time I have done anything that could be considered exercise (unless you count giving birth three times as exercise-which for the purposes of my own self pride - I will).
What's the matter with me, it seems to me that the more I worry about my weight the more crappy, horrible food I eat...What's up with that? I took a drug once called Meridian (after I gained 20 pounds in the first year of my marriage). I took it over a period of several months. My brain and my body were totally altered by this drug. I had no appetite, I ate half of the amount of food on my plate, I didn't snack, for god's sake I would leave a candy bar on my nightstand for weeks and take a bite out of it every once in a while. Why does the chemistry in the brain have any control over our appetite. Our stomach should just say "I'm empty - eat now" but no, the brain has to get involved and that's where a hell brakes loose with me. I wish I could just have Meridian injected in me daily that way I wouldn't care about food.
Oh well, hopefully by "putting this on paper" I can read and reread these thoughts and realize how ridiculous they sound and I will somehow gain the motivation to do something about it.
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6 comments:
Hi Sis, It looks like everybody is starting to blog now. Maybe I will start when I find the time. I know it is tough to have time for exercise with three children. Everybody's lives go through cycles when their priorities shift. One of your priorities right now is taking care of the young ones. There will be a time again when you are back on a full exercise schedule. For now, resuming your walks 2 - 3 times a week will improve your attitude and health. Maybe Dad can stop by your house and pick you up during one of his walks. Love, Pebo
Hey Suzy! So glad that you re blogging, too! The world is full of bloggers. Love it! yes, I agree with PeBo. Try to walk as often as you can, brisk tempo. TRY not to snack, I know it is hard, but...Or snack on pop-corn, nuts, grapes and fruit. Do I sound boring? Keep up the blog. I'll keep on checking everyday!
Yes - it is a matter of not looking at it as a huge new commitment and just doing it...
Just remember that you are young & beautiful. Your weight is not important when you think about all the other things in life. You are doing a great job with three outstanding children, a wonderful husband, plus a great career! Not many people can handle all of that! Just try to get enough rest & a moment or two just to yourself. Take walks when you can.
You are so funny. I definitely count child birth as exercise. I laughed out loud at that part. Awesome writing -- really insightful. Maybe we could walk together. I need to do it too.
I couldn't find a way to comment on Kit Kats, so am adding to your comments from the first blog. Anyway, I loved Kit Kats! I think you are an inspired writer! Don't worry, I have my rituals, too, (as you well know). And thank you kindly for the complement. I'm sure we did a million things wrong, but it's nice for you to say that we didn't. You are doing a fantastic job with your children. Don't ever doubt that. They are sweet & wonderful to be around, & they love you to pieces.
And I do, too!
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